FREEEEEEDOM!!!

This morning, I got an email from someone at church in the auxiliary I'm currently serving in. She wanted me to do x, y & z to show my support. I won't go into that here, but the short of it was--I can't do what she's asking me to do because it is in direct conflict with my integrity. I posted a opening thread on fMh  and got back dozens of responses. Until that point, I was on the fence about saying anything to the auxiliary leader, however, after some encouragement, I was able to center myself and bounce some ideas off of my MoFem sisters and brothers.

For me, this is the heart of MoFem visiting teaching--to support and lift up one another. When I received that email, I was one lone "dissenter" unsure of how to say what needed to be said. Within minutes, however, I was one who had a group of people (and their great love and kindness) standing behind me.

I kind of felt like this:

Being a feminist, a pants wearer, a person who doesn't always agree with the fold, a HUMAN--is hard. Sometimes the most difficult battles I fight are within the walls of my culture. I felt so alone for so long in the church. I didn't fit in. It was painful. I was quiet--I mean I was loudly quiet--because who are we kidding here?
Then I found fMh and I unfurled my freak flag fly and everyone was all, "Hiiiiiiii!!" I found freedom to be my authentic self, to live my truth with integrity, to be the me that I was created to be. I know I'm supported, loved and encouraged on the journey--and it's times like this morning that my gratitude for each of you feels full to overflowing.

I also feel like I could take on the world....
                   ....in a kilt
                                ....while screaming, "FREEEEEEDOM!!!!!!"

So, thanks, Visiting Teaching peeps.


How about you? How has MoFem Visiting Teaching helped you this month?

So...Now What?

Mo-Fem Visiting Teaching assignments are OUT. Whoooohoooo! You've got the names and email addresses for the people in your group.

But...what's next?

Sometimes friendships need a little nudge. When I was 9, my parents thought it would be a good idea for me to read Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People". My dad was in sales and Dale was quoted more often than Jesus in our house. In hindsight, this probably wasn't the best book to introduce me to as a child, since one of the main ideas was "how to win people to your way of thinking" which may or may not have lead to me convincing a group of friends to steal a car just four short years later--but that's another story.

Anyway, whether good old Dale contributed to my juvenile delinquence or not, life has taught me one thing: everyone likes to talk about themselves. What a better way to get to know your new friends than by asking them some questions about themselves?

Here are a few you might like to ask/answer:

• Where are you from?
• Do you have any pets?
• What kind of music do you like?
• m&m's, red or blue? Discuss.
• What are some of your hobbies?
• Reading: Kindle or paperback?
• Jeans or a skirt? (We all know the answer to that one, right?? PANTS! ;)
• Do you enjoy traveling by train, plane or automobile?
• Would you rather have a night out or a night in?
• Candle salad or Hymas haystacks?
• James Spader or Andrew McCarthy? (I know I'm showing my age here, if you haven't seen Pretty In Pink --leave your computer and go watch it. NOW.)

Welcome back. (The answer is James Spader, in case you were wondering.) Continuing on...

• Swim in a pool or the ocean?
• What is your favorite pair of shoes?
• What is your ideal visiting teaching moment look like?
• In what ways can I support you?
• Has Lisa asked you to steal a car with her yet?

There are some questions to get you started in your new friendships.

What questions would you add?
(And I know you're reading because Jerilyn came to me in a dream (bearing a candle salad) telling me that this blog has had thousands of page views, so don't forget to leave a comment about which questions you would ask to get to know someone better--your question may be the one that inspires a conversation!)

    

 

Welcome!

Welcome to the Mo-Fem Visiting Teaching blog! We're so glad you're here! We'd like to use this space to update you on good Mo-Fem visiting teaching news, share ideas for visiting teaching sistren and brethren nearby (or far away) and share inspiring quotes, pictures and just good news.

We thought it might be fun to share a bit about yourselves too.

This is Maria:

This is Jerilyn: (In case it's not apparent, she's the one holding the candle salad...)

 

  

I'm Lisa:





 

We are you moderators/admins of MoFem Visiting Teaching.

 

Maria: I'm a Colorado native and live with my husband Nick in Buffalo NY. When I'm not thinking about cats or reading something, I travel around the US and work as an Opera Singer.

 

Jerilyn:  I am a wife and a mother. I am full of shenanigans. I'm only here to make sure everyone behaves.

 

Lisa: I like Diet Coke, books, people who make me laugh and being photographed with my mouth open. I was also thanked for singing in church...as Sister Slut (instead of Stott, which is my last name) thus the nickname. When I frequent MoFem snackers, there is usually a resounding welcome of "Hi Sister Slut!!!" as I approach.

 

I also like visiting teaching. But (maybe like you) some of my visiting teaching moments haven't been so great. One experience required me to file a restraining order. Which reminds me, let's talk boundaries for just a sec.

 

Sometimes we Mormons forget them. The purpose of MoFem Visiting Teaching is to serve your new friends how they would like to be served. If your people have requested only online support, please don't show up at their door with fresh bread. (Come over to my house instead. However, if you ask me to watch your kids for a week while you gamble away your life's savings in Jackpot, Nevada, we're gonna have to have a chat about boundaries.) So, be aware, stay respectful and remember to communicate. If you're not sure what the boundaries are, ask. If you're too shy to ask your new friend, ask me, then I will ask them and we'll all celebrate that we are such great communicators and then head to Jackpot to celebrate--er--you know what I mean.  

 

Here's some other important information:

 

This is a total no pressure commitment. There are no reports, numbers, visiting teaching interviews or other beauracratic nonsense. All you need is a willing desire to make some new friends. In MoFem Visiting Teaching there are no "teachers" and "teachees", each person should try and reach out to everyone else in whatever way they've communicated that they prefer. The point is to create connections and friendships, not check people off a list. Enjoy getting to know your new friends and we'd love to hear about your good news!

 

You can opt out any time. If you feel like MoFem Visiting Teaching isn't your thing, no worries. We're glad you came by and maybe we will see you again. Just let us know.

 

Ideas for visiting teaching include...supporting a friend on a Facebook thread gone south, leaving a post on their timeline, sending snail mail, packages, following a new friend's blog, getting together for lunch (should you live in the same area), and a million other ideas. Future posts will share ideas for making the most of your visiting teaching experience.

 

We hope you share your success. We hope to hear your good news. We hope you find joy in your new friendships and remember, we are here to support and love you.

 

Enjoy the ride!!

 

 

Why did you decide to join MoFem visiting teaching? What are you hoping to gain/give?